If there seems to be one obvious marker that someone might be well on the spectrum, it is a recurring experience of being accused of being “too complicated”.
The combination of straight talk, hyperfocus, compartmentalization, and sensory overload can make a person a pretty tense presence.
People who have to live or work with such Aspies may feel exhausted just from the many comments, interventions, explanations, directives, and questions about every detail.
As an example, a conversation that is intended to be mere lightweight smalltalk by the other person initiating it may inadvertently turn into a very intense discussion about deep philosophical or very personal and intimate questions.
The Aspie sometimes tends to grab on to the present topic and drill all the way down into every detail and aspect of it. This may be related to the straight talk topic, but the drilling is most probably completely unrelated to the other people in the conversation.
This impersonal, fact-focused way of thinking can be completely unthinkable to the other people. They will often read all kinds of hidden agandas, indirect accusations, blame, or inauthentic behavior into the straight talk. This all increases the perceived “intensity” of the evolving conversation for the other.
Such a conversation can well end in total exhaustion at best, or an aggressive argument or terrible fight at worse.
Sometimes the image of a dog sinking its teeth into a stick and refusing to let it go helps. The Aspie can tend to want to drill all the way to the bottom of a topic with no regard of where the others are.
This perceived intensity will sometimes add up to a general unease of other people over time. Often, the intensity is even hard to explicitly detect for the other, and even harder to call out and address directly. So when it becomes too much for the other, the relationship might end as many relationships end for Aspies: by so-called ghosting. The other will just end all communication with the Aspie, without any explanation or feedback.
Again, a good way to cope with this “intensity” both for the Aspies and the others is to first acknowledge it. Once it is inside the shared awareness, it becomes much more easily manageable: It can be named in intense situation. The Aspie can mention when the Aspie starts feeling this urge to drill deeper. The other can warn when the conversation becomes too intense. And both can ideally laugh more and agree to come back to a topic some other time.