Masking

An Aspie learns to mask. The Aspie learns that some of the Aspie’s behaviors, impulses, expressions are not adequate. If the Aspie is able to realize this and learn the corresponding (more) adequate behavor, impulses, expressions, this is called “Masking”.

Various circumstances will influence the extent, ability, and consequences of masking:

  • The intensity of the autistic aspects: is it an autistic child that can’t go through “normal” school? Or is the Aspie recognized and diagnosed as such at an old age? The later the diagnose, the more masking has been learned and perfected.
  • The intellectual capabilities help in masking. Recognizing the “wrong” behaviors, the “right” behaviors, and masking the former with the latter requires self control and intellectual effort.
  • At its most extreme, masking can lead to a completely fake life. Over the years, masking can lead to an entire social network of people who have only known the masked Aspie. This in turn can lead to some extreme and seemingly unrelated conditions. The effort of masking can lead to burnout, the agony of not feeling true to oneself can lead to depression, or to alcoholism and other substance abuse.

One of the tangible benefits of even a late professional diagnosis can be the discovery of the Aspie’s own specific masks.

Realizing the masking can have a big impact on the Aspie’s life. Relationships might change or end. Love and tolerance might grow. New relationships might suddenly become possible.